Take Me Away (Everly Place Book 1) Page 6

  "Long time, no see." Clay takes a seat next to me.

  I close my book and look over at him. "Yeah, long time," I chuckle and feel the faintest edge of a blush.

  "You see what I'm doing here?" He points to me and then himself.

  "What exactly are you doing?”

  "I'm keeping my promise. I'm a man of my word. Always remember that." He laughs, and—feeling flirtatious—I toss him a grin.

  "I'll need a little more convincing... but I see that you're trying, so I'll give you that."

  Clay tugs my hand in response. "Come in the water. It feels nice."

  "I... ugh, I don't know," I stutter, standing, and look around at all of these people.

  "I'll go with you." His persuasion is a sexy smile he's been giving me a lot lately.

  How can I say no to that? I pull my dress up over my head, revealing my new bikini while at the same time trying to cover myself with my arms. My pale skin confirms that certain parts of my body have never seen sunlight.

  "Wow," Clay says, looking me up and down and stopping at my breasts, suddenly making me feel very exposed. “I like your... um, swimsuit."

  Clay's reaction patches my lack of self-confidence slightly, and I can't help but smile a little. He takes my hand and leads me to the pool. The water is a bit chilly, but the sun beaming down warms my bare skin. Clay gives me a splash before I can get used to the temperature and teases up goosebumps; laughing in apology, he rubs my arms with both of his hands.

  I look around to see if anyone notices our game, worrying they might get the wrong idea, and I spot Luke glaring at us. I don't know why he gets so uneasy any time Clay and I interact; he always has. It feels almost like he doesn't want his brother to be my friend. Maybe that's why Clay always pushes me away when he's near.

  Despite Luke's nasty look, I am starting to enjoy myself a little. The twins and I are throwing a big beach ball back and forth when I hear something familiar.

  My heart sinks into my chest, burning me from the inside out. I can't tell if it's fury or embarrassment.

  "—and then Clay leaned over and put his strong hands around my waist, pulled me into an embrace, and kissed me with those soft lips. His bare skin touching mine as he slid his hand up my shirt—" It's Luke's voice.

  His reading is loud enough for the people next to us to hear. Thankfully, it's not everyone, but Clay most definitely heard it all. I stand frozen in the water. I look over at Clay, and he is frozen, as well. He looks just as embarrassed as I am.

  It's not real, I want to tell him. If I could make my lips move, I might have said so. I might have called Luke a liar and sworn up-and-down he was just doing it to harass me, that he made it all up. But he didn't. They're my words, and they're terribly, blisteringly real.

  "Give it up for Iris Everly and her amazing writing skills." Luke starts clapping.

  I rush out of the pool and over to him. I rip my book out of his cold-blooded hand and slap him across the face. He looks shocked, but it doesn’t wipe the humor or the malice off. Luke rubs his hand across his cheek and starts laughing. I grab my bag and my dress and make a run for the exit, leaving behind any dignity that I had left.

  It's a long walk to my house, but I don't care. I need this time to collect my thoughts.

  Tears are dropping down my face and the humiliation that fills my heart and my soul is unbearable. I want to hide away and shut out the world. No one has ever read anything inside this book that I am clutching tightly against my chest. Everyone is going to think that what Luke read was a journal of past events and that's not what this is.

  I keep walking without a destination in mind and find myself at our old barn on Mr. Radley's farm. I used to come here to hide away as a child. I sink myself down into the hay in an empty stall and begin to sob uncontrollably. I feel numb and unsure of what to do. I should try and explain this to Clay, but he won't want to hear it; he's probably furious with me.

  The friendship that we’d only now started building back up has been destroyed by Luke Keller.

  Chapter Nine

  After sitting in the barn for what feels like hours, I wipe my tears and decide to face reality. I go home.

  Dad is asleep on the couch. That man works himself ragged. I creep up to my bedroom so I don't wake him, and throw myself onto my bed. I can just hear Lily and Rose talking down the hall.

  "I got this," Rose says to Lily as she opens my door.

  I am lying flat on my stomach, facing the window, and I feel another tear fall from my cheek. They just keep coming now, and I have no control over it. Rose sits down at the bottom of my bed. She hovers there quietly, waiting to see if I want to talk.

  "I wanna get a degree in Creative Writing, maybe teach it someday," I tell her.

  "What?"

  Everyone knows I write all the time, but no one knows what I am writing. They probably all assumed it was my diary from when I was eight. No one has asked, and I have never shared.

  "You asked me if I had dreams or if I wanted to stay here like Mom. I want to be a writer," I tell her again.

  "Iris, if this is about what..."

  I lift my head and I cut her off. "This isn't about what happened. This is me telling you that I do have dreams and that I don't want to be stuck like this forever."

  "Then write. I know you have a talent. I've read your school essays and hell, you've even wrote them for me." She laughs.

  I sit up cross-legged and brave a smile while playing with the strings in my afghan.

  "Don't let Luke stop you from doing what you love. He's an asshole and I told him so. What he did today was inexcusable."

  "I don't want to stay here, Rose. I want to go to college and get a degree. I wanna spread my wings and see where I land."

  "Then what's stopping you?" She wipes a tear from my cheek.

  "Dad." I crumble again. Rose wraps her arms around me while I weep. "I can't leave him all alone. Everyone always leaves him."

  "Iris Everly, you get one life to live. Dad wants you to live it—for you." She pokes her finger into my chest. "Lily and I struggled with leaving, too. You know that, but you were the one who told us that we need to take care of ourselves before we can take care of anyone else, and you were right."

  "I did say that, didn't I? I guess that's because I always planned to be here."

  Rose gets off the bed and walks over to my vanity, and picks up the letter from Washington State. She hands it out to me. "Open it."

  I shake my head. "Rose, I have 4.0 and a four-year scholarship. I know I got in," I chuckle. "I don't want to go to Washington State."

  She blinks at me, baffled. “Why not?”

  I get more serious now. "I've never wanted to go there. I just applied because I felt like I needed to apply somewhere, considering I graduated at the top of my class. A big university is not only intimidating to me; I also feel like I would lose track of myself. I want to go with you and Lily," I tell her. Bellevue isn't exactly close, but WSU is twice the distance.

  "Then come with us." She hugs me. "I'll be right back." With that, my sister springs up and rushes out of my room.

  Rose returns with her laptop. She sits on my bed and opens it up, takes a minute to navigate to whatever she’s looking for, then turns it to me and places it in my lap.

  "Apply at Bellevue. Even if you aren't one-hundred percent sure yet, at least get the admissions stuff done so that when the time comes, you are prepared, whether you go or not."

  I put my hands on the laptop and let out a sigh. I can't believe I'm even doing this. I was so set on staying home and just working at the diner and maybe taking an online course or something—not this. The tilt towards my future feels immense. "Where would I stay?" I ask her.

  "With us, in the resident halls. You probably won't actually be in the same apartment because they are limited to two people, but you would get a roommate."

  I nod in agreement, and even though I’m not convinced that I am ready for all of this, I fill out the admissions
paperwork online. She‘s right. I have nothing to lose by applying, I remind myself.

  "Thank you, Rose." I smile.

  "You're welcome. And Iris, remember what I said: Don't let Luke get to you. Karma is a bitch and he will get his."

  I had forgotten all about what happened today until she mentioned it. My stomach drops and my heart sinks again. I don't know how I will ever be able to face anyone in that family.

  Morning is quiet at the house. The girls are preparing to leave for LA, and Dad had to go to the farm to talk to Mr. Radley, so we decide to skip church. I need to be at the diner in an hour. In the meantime, I make a quick lunch for us all, and am putting Dad’s food in the refrigerator when the phone rings.

  "Hello," I answer.

  "Iris, it's Clay. I was wondering if you could meet me at the lake?"

  I'm silent for a minute as I try come out of this shock. Clay has never called me. Not ever.

  "I have to go to work,” I respond.

  There is a sadness in his voice. "Can you meet me after work?"

  "Sure, OK. I'll see you a little after five."

  "See ya." He hangs up.

  Part of me is happy Clay is reaching out—but the other part of me fears that he’s only doing it to tell me we can't be friends anymore. I'm nervous about talking to him. I wipe my damp palms on my apron and take a few deep breaths to slow my rapid heart rate. I’m thankful for the time that I have to mentally prepare myself to see him but I can't let it interfere with work.

  My shift goes by insanely slow. The diner is dead except for an elderly couple and they are only my third table today; needless to say, my tips won't be anything to brag about. I'm supposed to be picking up a couple extra shifts starting next week, but my mind wanders to the possibilities of a new job with better pay if I move to Bellevue. I also like the idea of being only twenty minutes away from my cousin and aunt; Becca, too, has mentioned going to Bellevue Community College. I never paid much attention before, because anytime anyone would talk about college, I’d shut down. I wonder if I could just stay with Aunt Meg. If I could—

  I shake these spiraling thoughts from my head, because the more I think about it, the more I want to go—but the more I lament the thought of Dad being here all alone, too.

  Eventually, my dead shift ends, and I’m already getting worked up again. My palms are sweating and my heart is racing. I arrive at the lake a few minutes early; Clay isn't here yet, so I sit in my car and reread the line of my notebook Luke shared with everyone yesterday. I sure am glad he didn't keep going, because that would have really been a page-turner.

  Before I can dismay too much over the what-if, Clay pulls up; I stuff my notebook under my seat, and get out.

  Clay is looking as appealing as ever in a black T-shirt, gym shorts, and tennis shoes. His dark hair really brings out the sea green eyes of his that always draw me in. I comb my fingers through my ponytail, knowing that I look terrible. A glance down makes me realize I'm still wearing my waitressing apron, so I pull it off and throw it in the car.

  "Thanks for coming," Clay says as he leans up against the hood of my car.

  "Clay... I'm so—"

  He holds his hand up. "'Me first."

  Then, on a gasp of air: "Luke should have never invaded your privacy like that. I can't imagine how that felt. I know how I felt but that's besides the point. He told me that after he stopped reading out loud, he read the next couple lines to himself, and it talked about us sleeping together." He looks down long enough to shake his head, then back, and disappointment is brimming in his eyes. "Did you tell people that we slept together, Iris?"

  "What?! No!" I yell. "Clay, you don't understand. That wasn't writing about my experiences."

  "What the hell was it then, Iris?" I usually love the way he says my name, but this time there is so much ill feeling in his voice.

  I walk over to my car and grab my notebook and the slam it into his chest. "It's this. Read it."

  He opens the book and reads the first page out loud. "Destined to Be."

  "It's a book I've been writing, Clay." I feel a rush of embarrassment and worry he will not be very understanding about this, so I give it my best shot, and put myself out there. "It's a book about our lives. About growing up together and our first kiss. It's all factual until I ran out of stuff to write because we drifted apart. I began to write the things I wished for... for us." I turn my whole body away from him and look at the lake, hoping there is a glimmer of acceptance behind me.

  "I had no idea. Why didn't you tell me? We spent hours talking the other night—you could have mentioned it."

  "Yeah, right. I was just going to open up and tell you that I've been writing a book about a love that doesn't exist between us." Tears surge again. I'm so tired of crying in front of people, but I’ve restrained my inner self so long, I can't help it.

  "Sure, something, anything that could have prepared me." He turns me around.

  "Well, I'm sorry, it's not like I knew your dickhead brother would read it to the world."

  Clay wipes a finger under my eyes to stop my tears from falling—and, just when I think I've lost him forever, his lips touch mine.

  This kiss is different than the others—each one is—but this one is passionate and deep and my hormones take control of my body and I can't let go. I wrap my arms around his neck as he wraps his around my waist and then brings both hands up to my face, cupping my cheeks in his palms.

  "I'm not mad at you,” he whispers.

  Unsure what any of this means, I just go with it. I know that Clay is probably not ready to give all of his heart to me—and I don't feel like I am ready, either—but I want to enjoy getting there.

  We stand in from of my car, silent for a couple minutes, and Clay just holds me in his arms. I wasn't expecting any of this coming here today. Hell, I wasn't ever expecting any of this, but there is a part of me that longed for it. I longed to feel his touch and his breath on my skin. It took us a long time— our whole lives—to get to this point, and now that we’re here, I don't want to lose it. I have to know what he is feeling.

  "What now?" I pull away and look into his eyes.

  He smiles. "I want to read your book."

  As much as I want Clay to know how I feel and as much as I want him to allow me to feel more, I'm not ready to be that vulnerable yet.

  "It's not finished." I smile back, though, still holding my arms around him.

  "Let me read what you have and then we can create the end together." He kisses the tip of my nose.

  I'm pretty sure I'm blushing at this point, and euphoria has taken over my body. It's terrifying but exciting.

  "How about this? I will let you read one chapter every day that you spend with me. It's a win-win, really. You get what you want and I get what I want.”

  "Deal. Now hand it over." He holds his palm out, and I place the book inside.

  Clay heads for the tree, gesturing for me to come with him. He settles down to rest his back against it, and I sit between his legs while he holds the notebook out in front of us. The beginning is easy; these first couple pages just talk about my early childhood, mentioning my first-grade teacher and a friend of mine that transferred schools and the sadness I felt. It isn't very exciting material, and I fear he's probably bored already. But every once in a while, he leans down and kisses my cheek while he reads, and it sends electricity through my veins.

  "Ahhh, ahhh! That's enough." I take the book from him and close it as he approaches Chapter Two.

  "I like seeing what you thought and felt as a child.” He wraps his arms around me and rests his chin on my head. “I can't wait to read what you feel in the present."

  "I wish I knew what you felt," I tell him, but then I second-guess myself, and I ponder if I really want to know. I don't want to ruin this.

  "I could show you."

  His pulls me towards him and I straddle his legs as he puts his hands on my cheeks and my mouth meets his. I could get used to this, but—

/>   "I want to know how you really feel. What is all this?" I ask him, once again unsure, but I need to know what I'm getting myself into. My heart can’t handle another loss. I should say that, but I don’t. Instead, I calm my butterflies, and try, "I don't want to misinterpret your actions as something more than what they are."

  "I feel like I have known you my whole life. But I want to know more." He twirls my hair around his fingers.

  "I feel the same. But what about Luke?"

  "You—we—don't have to worry about him anymore," Clay assures me, though I’m left unaware of precisely what that means.

  I don't even want to think about Luke in this moment. Even though Clay understands now, I am furious about the invasion of my private belongings, and my thoughts. I know that everyone else probably thinks I have this psychotic obsession with Clay. It shouldn't matter what everyone else thinks, but I have to face these people in our small town. If Clay continues to turn a blind eye to me every time we’re around his friends and family, then I won't be able to continue this. I refuse to be his secret friend—I deserve more than that.

  "Let’s just take this one day... one chapter,” he corrects himself, “at a time."

  I nod. Everything has happened so fast. Even though my crush started as a child, I never imagined that Clay would have feelings for me. I wonder how long he’s felt any kind of emotion towards me. Someday I will get answers, but right now, I’ll do what he suggests. One day at a time.

  We stay under the tree and talk for a while. Time seems to go so quickly when we’re together; I lose track of it. Clay has a way of making me forget the outside world and it's like we are the only ones who exist. He tells me about his new internship and his job duties and I tell him about my new shifts at the diner.

  "I don't understand why you would want to stay in this town and not go away to school,” he says as he pulls me up off the ground.

  "It's more of a need than I want." I decide not to tell him about Bellevue yet because I'm still unsure how serious I am about attending. "When you’re done with school, do you plan to move back?" I wonder as we walk over to the lakeside.